Thanks for sharing that post, Harneek, and sorry about these incidences that have caused you to feel unsafe.
It is normal to feel lost when such things happen. Don't be too hard on yourself, blaming yourself for not figuring out things as quickly as you want. This, too, is part of the process of navigating the maze, and these questions, to me, are evidence of someone who knows what she's doing, at least as can reasonably be expected given the circumstances.
I wish you well, and hope you find clarity. Trust time, its passage tends to illuminate things. You'll be fine - eventually.
Harneek, your journey shows incredible strength and resilience. Despite challenges, you're growing and learning. Remember, asking for help and taking time to heal is okay. Your openness and self-reflection are admirable. Keep moving forward, better days are ahead. You've got this :-).
Harneek, I hear you. There are such moments in our lives, isn’t it? One moment we feel complete another moment we feel that we are back to square one. Our insecurities and fears when triggered by something sets fire to a circuit of past wounds and emotions. What I do is just sit with it. Talk to it(By way of journaling) let it pass by on its own. I’m currently in similar situation and I’m currently talking with it. It feels a little better.
It can be extremely tough trying to find your feet in another country. The loneliness can be crippling at times, depressing even.
I hope you are able to make some new friends that value you how you wish to be valued. Maybe you could join a local book club, run club or a community based on something you enjoy. These suggestions might not do the trick but I hope you find something that does.
It sounds like you've been through a lot, and it's completely understandable that you'd feel lost and full of questions. Keep telling your story, keep reaching out. You're stronger than you think, and there are people who want to support you. Take things one step at a time, and trust that with patience and self-compassion, you'll find your way through this difficult period. I wish you well, Harneek.
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter, and the Prisoner of Azkaban
I always (not exactly always) go back to this quote whenever something goes wrong. Maybe it's because Harry Potter is some sort of home to me, or maybe because it's true. Maybe both. I hope that you are able to overcome your struggles and become a better person. Just keep going, and everything will fall into place sooner than later. May God bless you and help you through!
Thank you so much, Harneek, for your honest words. Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes, I feel like I have everything together, and then there are moments when I feel lost, uncertain, and overthink everything again. I just want to run away. But it's in these moments that we can choose how to respond to life. You seem to have a lot of strength, courage, and resilience to make the right choices for yourself. I wish you lots of love and strength along your way!
I hear you. I see you. I appreciate you so much. I'm so sorry this happened to you Harneek! You're so brave for writing about it and being vulnerable.
I understand how hard it must be being all by yourself as you go through this whirlpool of emotions and situations, some you have no control over! Is there anything your Substack community can do to help?
I'm sure you're not looking for advice at this moment. But a gentle thought I try to tell myself when I am in shitty shit land-time heals everything. Stay strong, power through. You have survived all of your worst days, and you can do it again. I'm here praying for you 💖💖
I am learning to be ok in this state of confusion and fears. A part of me knows this state is not permanent and it will pass with time. But it does feel hard at the moment.
My substack community is helping me with their kind words, messages and emails already.
Dear Harneek, just sending you a hug. The loss of sense of safety with a smashing like this is so hard, especially when trying to find ground in a new country. Everything that hurts, hurts at once. Sending you love.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability, it was very moving. Even though you may feel lost and adrift at sea at the moment, know that it’s temporary. Even by writing this post and putting it out into the world, you’ve taken a step forward 🩷
Hey Harneek. I know how this feels. I have had my fair share of loss and betrayals as well. When something triggers these wounds, I get very upset, angry and cry. It feels like everything at once all over again. So I get this a lot. And I feel for you. And your struggles are valid Harneek. Very much so. We should not compare our struggles to each other. You are allowed to have it acknowledged by others that you struggle. Which maybe for you ties into why you might struggle with asking for help? I have that too. I want to do it all on my own. Well I had to. It is difficult to trust and be vulnerable when one has been betrayed a lot. Also the same empathy you feel towards others struggles, that same empathy you deserve as well. I had last year in September a group of young dudes try to harass me, because of music I was listening to. I stood my ground and they fled, but for some months I felt super unsafe. So I also know that feeling. The hypervigilance and anxiety that comes with it. Where even the movement of shadows can put you on edge. With me that one was compounded by my family abandoning me, and my ex-girlfriend (who I later broke up with over that), and finally a friend I wanted to seek support from who betrayed me in the end. They had their own avoidant tendency issues, and then me getting mad at them did not help. So that one was rough. So I also know how it is for you to have things compound one on the other. It really took me until recently to get the connection with my inner self back. You'll get there again too. It just takes time. And it is ok to be vulnerable, and not be strong all the time. We are not gods, we are humans. I also really know about this one. You seeking emotionally support, and to feel safe and have a sense of belongingness, purpose and community. That has been my life the past 20 years. If you ever need a friend, you can message me.
Yes Robin, you explained it so well. This is so complex that sometimes I struggle to find words to explain it to the world. But you just got it, so thank you for offering that to me. I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. I hope you heal from everything that aches inside your heart. Your comment really made me feel that I am not alone in finding it hard to navigate life sometimes. Thank you for being generous in offering your friendship, I wish you all the best in your healing journey.
I know how hard it can be to explain it. I had struggled with that for quite some time too. Well. I have done a lot of self-reflection the past three years. No problem Harneek. Awww. Thank you. It has not been easy, though I have somewhat recovered. And thank you. I do really wish you the same, that you as well will heal from everything that aches inside your heart. I am really glad that you feel less alone in finding it hard to navigate life sometimes. I know how it is to feel alone with it, so when I saw your post, I really felt like saying something, to make sure you don't feel alone. I am kinda in the same boat, and having friends would be nice for me as well. So it is not entirely without my own need for genuine connection in mind. Thank you Harneek. I wish you all the best as well in your own healing journey.
Thank you for sharing a vulnerable post Harneek. I am so sorry what you had to go through. As time goes by you will find clarity and you’ll bounce back stronger than ever 🤗
Thanks for sharing that post, Harneek, and sorry about these incidences that have caused you to feel unsafe.
It is normal to feel lost when such things happen. Don't be too hard on yourself, blaming yourself for not figuring out things as quickly as you want. This, too, is part of the process of navigating the maze, and these questions, to me, are evidence of someone who knows what she's doing, at least as can reasonably be expected given the circumstances.
I wish you well, and hope you find clarity. Trust time, its passage tends to illuminate things. You'll be fine - eventually.
Thanks Patrick for your comment, the validation of my experiences and the hope of finding clarity. Yes, I have intentions to trust time.
Harneek, your journey shows incredible strength and resilience. Despite challenges, you're growing and learning. Remember, asking for help and taking time to heal is okay. Your openness and self-reflection are admirable. Keep moving forward, better days are ahead. You've got this :-).
Thanks Tinashe, your kind words mean a lot to me at the moment. Thanks for the restack.
Harneek, I hear you. There are such moments in our lives, isn’t it? One moment we feel complete another moment we feel that we are back to square one. Our insecurities and fears when triggered by something sets fire to a circuit of past wounds and emotions. What I do is just sit with it. Talk to it(By way of journaling) let it pass by on its own. I’m currently in similar situation and I’m currently talking with it. It feels a little better.
Thanks Shanjitha for your comment and validating my experiences with your kind words, I am trying my best.
It can be extremely tough trying to find your feet in another country. The loneliness can be crippling at times, depressing even.
I hope you are able to make some new friends that value you how you wish to be valued. Maybe you could join a local book club, run club or a community based on something you enjoy. These suggestions might not do the trick but I hope you find something that does.
Thanks Harun, all of them sound like good ideas to me. :)
Hearing you 🤍
Thanks Neha 💚💚
Best wishes and more power to you 💯
Thanks for your kind wishes 💚
It sounds like you've been through a lot, and it's completely understandable that you'd feel lost and full of questions. Keep telling your story, keep reaching out. You're stronger than you think, and there are people who want to support you. Take things one step at a time, and trust that with patience and self-compassion, you'll find your way through this difficult period. I wish you well, Harneek.
Thanks Mo, really appreciate your kind words. It means a lot especially at the moment and thank you for the restack!!
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter, and the Prisoner of Azkaban
I always (not exactly always) go back to this quote whenever something goes wrong. Maybe it's because Harry Potter is some sort of home to me, or maybe because it's true. Maybe both. I hope that you are able to overcome your struggles and become a better person. Just keep going, and everything will fall into place sooner than later. May God bless you and help you through!
Thanks Ayesha for reminding me of this quote, appreciate it. Thank you for the kind words and the restack :)
Thank you so much, Harneek, for your honest words. Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes, I feel like I have everything together, and then there are moments when I feel lost, uncertain, and overthink everything again. I just want to run away. But it's in these moments that we can choose how to respond to life. You seem to have a lot of strength, courage, and resilience to make the right choices for yourself. I wish you lots of love and strength along your way!
Thanks Victoria, I completely agree with you. Appreciate your comment and kind words.💚💚
I hear you. I see you. I appreciate you so much. I'm so sorry this happened to you Harneek! You're so brave for writing about it and being vulnerable.
I understand how hard it must be being all by yourself as you go through this whirlpool of emotions and situations, some you have no control over! Is there anything your Substack community can do to help?
I'm sure you're not looking for advice at this moment. But a gentle thought I try to tell myself when I am in shitty shit land-time heals everything. Stay strong, power through. You have survived all of your worst days, and you can do it again. I'm here praying for you 💖💖
Thanks Mo for your kind words. 💚💚
I am learning to be ok in this state of confusion and fears. A part of me knows this state is not permanent and it will pass with time. But it does feel hard at the moment.
My substack community is helping me with their kind words, messages and emails already.
Dear Harneek, just sending you a hug. The loss of sense of safety with a smashing like this is so hard, especially when trying to find ground in a new country. Everything that hurts, hurts at once. Sending you love.
Thank you Kirstie, appreciate your kind words 💚
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability, it was very moving. Even though you may feel lost and adrift at sea at the moment, know that it’s temporary. Even by writing this post and putting it out into the world, you’ve taken a step forward 🩷
Thanks Anna for your comment and kind words, I hope it passes soon.
Hey Harneek. I know how this feels. I have had my fair share of loss and betrayals as well. When something triggers these wounds, I get very upset, angry and cry. It feels like everything at once all over again. So I get this a lot. And I feel for you. And your struggles are valid Harneek. Very much so. We should not compare our struggles to each other. You are allowed to have it acknowledged by others that you struggle. Which maybe for you ties into why you might struggle with asking for help? I have that too. I want to do it all on my own. Well I had to. It is difficult to trust and be vulnerable when one has been betrayed a lot. Also the same empathy you feel towards others struggles, that same empathy you deserve as well. I had last year in September a group of young dudes try to harass me, because of music I was listening to. I stood my ground and they fled, but for some months I felt super unsafe. So I also know that feeling. The hypervigilance and anxiety that comes with it. Where even the movement of shadows can put you on edge. With me that one was compounded by my family abandoning me, and my ex-girlfriend (who I later broke up with over that), and finally a friend I wanted to seek support from who betrayed me in the end. They had their own avoidant tendency issues, and then me getting mad at them did not help. So that one was rough. So I also know how it is for you to have things compound one on the other. It really took me until recently to get the connection with my inner self back. You'll get there again too. It just takes time. And it is ok to be vulnerable, and not be strong all the time. We are not gods, we are humans. I also really know about this one. You seeking emotionally support, and to feel safe and have a sense of belongingness, purpose and community. That has been my life the past 20 years. If you ever need a friend, you can message me.
Yes Robin, you explained it so well. This is so complex that sometimes I struggle to find words to explain it to the world. But you just got it, so thank you for offering that to me. I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. I hope you heal from everything that aches inside your heart. Your comment really made me feel that I am not alone in finding it hard to navigate life sometimes. Thank you for being generous in offering your friendship, I wish you all the best in your healing journey.
I know how hard it can be to explain it. I had struggled with that for quite some time too. Well. I have done a lot of self-reflection the past three years. No problem Harneek. Awww. Thank you. It has not been easy, though I have somewhat recovered. And thank you. I do really wish you the same, that you as well will heal from everything that aches inside your heart. I am really glad that you feel less alone in finding it hard to navigate life sometimes. I know how it is to feel alone with it, so when I saw your post, I really felt like saying something, to make sure you don't feel alone. I am kinda in the same boat, and having friends would be nice for me as well. So it is not entirely without my own need for genuine connection in mind. Thank you Harneek. I wish you all the best as well in your own healing journey.
Thank you for sharing a vulnerable post Harneek. I am so sorry what you had to go through. As time goes by you will find clarity and you’ll bounce back stronger than ever 🤗
Thank you Bansi for your kind words, it means the world to me at the moment :)
“i’ll figure it out” - the soft war cry of girl scared shitless behind a stoic face and layers of delusions of competence.
Hey Sagar, thank you for your comment and encouragement. Yes, deep inside I know, I will figure this out with time.
Thanks Abdullah for sharing your story and kind words.