Yes I completely agree on your observations about grief Patrick. And yes sometimes life is marked by what isn’t there, it hurts but that’s the nature of life. Thank you for your engagement and wisdom always. 😊
Two things normally happen when we lose something or someone we treasure. First, we try to replace them. This isn't a bad strategy, except that not all people, things, and memories are replaceable.
When we cannot replace, we turn to the second thing, which is wanting to get over it too soon. This is usually a mistake, and sometimes it exacerbates the pain. Loss and grief create voids that we have to live with at times, not rush to fill too soon.
Move on by substituting what can be replaced, but let gaps and voids talk as long as they will take (to fill) for what cannot be answered immediately. This is life, and sometimes half of it is marked by what isn't there.
Hey Gargi, thank you for reading my newsletter. I have been feeling a disconnection lately with my writing and your comment made me read this old post of mine and encouraged me to write my latest post. I am keeping well. I hope you are doing good 💚💚
I remember feeling doubtful and guilty whenever I felt joy after my father's passing. Now I seek joy as much as I can because I think it's the best thing I can do in life.
Thank you for the mention, Harneek! And what a beautiful piece you've written. I've come to understand this sort of transition period as "bodily stockholm syndrome." It's like there are invisible threads keeping you attached to an old life in big and small ways, all the while you're desiring change. It is interesting how our excitement for the new, or fear or intrigue with the mystery of what's coming, can be forgotten or distorted through our yearning for what we are used to. It is a tricky place to be, indeed.
It is strange how you can sometimes feel such a strong resonance with certain writers on Substack based on what they write about. You are one such writer for me. I love your gentle way of guiding us into your world, and in doing so, making us come face to face with the realities of our own inner worlds. I feel like I am stuck in just such a confusing place as you’ve described, unable to let go of certain things but excited for the new ones to come. Is it possible for parts of us to get stuck in the past, while other parts move on? I suppose it is, but then we would not be whole. Oh, the conundrum! I try to imagine my garden - it is more like a forest, full of trees and vines and wildflowers, orchids, lilies, jasmine (motia), and the subtle scent of possibility. Thank you for this thought-provoking post!
The universe sent your piece across my garden path today. This is exactly where I am right now, exhausted, confused - excited about moving forward plans one minute, the next in floods of wet snotty tears as I remember and grieve. Thank you for your beautiful words, I've started visualising my garden filled with lots of colourful flowers 🌸🌸🌸
Yes I know this, I have been feeling quite the same from last days but wanna trust that it will only get better from here. I have to take baby steps to move forward but I have to. For myself and people who love me and wanna see my garden flourishing. I am sorry you are feeling this way and I am happy that you read my post when you needed it. Sending you love and courage on your journey 🌸
Hey Nida, thank you for your kind words and I am glad my post resonates. I am sorry you are having these feelings. I am in a similar space, figuring out what to do with this courage, should I keep some familiar things around or change everything, move somewhere around and start fresh. The more I move forward, the more scary and overwhelming it feels. But I have to, I can choose my pace though. I hope you seek clarity on your journey. Sending you love and hugs 💚💚
Yes I completely agree on your observations about grief Patrick. And yes sometimes life is marked by what isn’t there, it hurts but that’s the nature of life. Thank you for your engagement and wisdom always. 😊
Two things normally happen when we lose something or someone we treasure. First, we try to replace them. This isn't a bad strategy, except that not all people, things, and memories are replaceable.
When we cannot replace, we turn to the second thing, which is wanting to get over it too soon. This is usually a mistake, and sometimes it exacerbates the pain. Loss and grief create voids that we have to live with at times, not rush to fill too soon.
Move on by substituting what can be replaced, but let gaps and voids talk as long as they will take (to fill) for what cannot be answered immediately. This is life, and sometimes half of it is marked by what isn't there.
A highly reflective post, Harneek. Thank you!
I was thinking of you today and picked this up randomly, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. I hope you're doing well.❤️🌻
Hey Gargi, thank you for reading my newsletter. I have been feeling a disconnection lately with my writing and your comment made me read this old post of mine and encouraged me to write my latest post. I am keeping well. I hope you are doing good 💚💚
I remember feeling doubtful and guilty whenever I felt joy after my father's passing. Now I seek joy as much as I can because I think it's the best thing I can do in life.
Wishing you all the joy in the world 💚
you as well!
Beautiful expression you connect personal experience and add a valuable lesson for Life.
Thank you Neha 💚
Thank you for the mention, Harneek! And what a beautiful piece you've written. I've come to understand this sort of transition period as "bodily stockholm syndrome." It's like there are invisible threads keeping you attached to an old life in big and small ways, all the while you're desiring change. It is interesting how our excitement for the new, or fear or intrigue with the mystery of what's coming, can be forgotten or distorted through our yearning for what we are used to. It is a tricky place to be, indeed.
The way you connect this personal experience to the broader journey of grieving and letting go is sooo nice.
Thanks Mo 💚💚
Great essay, Harneek.
Thanks Harun, thanks for the restack mate 😊
It is strange how you can sometimes feel such a strong resonance with certain writers on Substack based on what they write about. You are one such writer for me. I love your gentle way of guiding us into your world, and in doing so, making us come face to face with the realities of our own inner worlds. I feel like I am stuck in just such a confusing place as you’ve described, unable to let go of certain things but excited for the new ones to come. Is it possible for parts of us to get stuck in the past, while other parts move on? I suppose it is, but then we would not be whole. Oh, the conundrum! I try to imagine my garden - it is more like a forest, full of trees and vines and wildflowers, orchids, lilies, jasmine (motia), and the subtle scent of possibility. Thank you for this thought-provoking post!
This is such a lovely way to say it all. We have to choose to move on and then be easy on ourselves.
The universe sent your piece across my garden path today. This is exactly where I am right now, exhausted, confused - excited about moving forward plans one minute, the next in floods of wet snotty tears as I remember and grieve. Thank you for your beautiful words, I've started visualising my garden filled with lots of colourful flowers 🌸🌸🌸
Yes I know this, I have been feeling quite the same from last days but wanna trust that it will only get better from here. I have to take baby steps to move forward but I have to. For myself and people who love me and wanna see my garden flourishing. I am sorry you are feeling this way and I am happy that you read my post when you needed it. Sending you love and courage on your journey 🌸
I’m planting hollyhocks 🌸
I just looked at it on internet, what are hollyhocks, they look very beautiful, good luck 💚
You explained it so well Faye. Thank you 💚💚
Hey Nida, thank you for your kind words and I am glad my post resonates. I am sorry you are having these feelings. I am in a similar space, figuring out what to do with this courage, should I keep some familiar things around or change everything, move somewhere around and start fresh. The more I move forward, the more scary and overwhelming it feels. But I have to, I can choose my pace though. I hope you seek clarity on your journey. Sending you love and hugs 💚💚