27 Comments
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Patrick Muindi's avatar

Great essay, Harneek. Intentions help give meaning and direction to actions, they can be a source of bearing and direction.

It's easier to make sense of a loss when there was a purpose behind the action, and a win can feel hollow if the "why" behind it wasn't defined.

Intentions offer clarity, and to have clarity is to know what is and isn't worth doing.

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

I completely agree with you Patrick, loss and win makes more sense if they are backed by right intentions :)

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Nadia Meli's avatar

Absolutely loved this! Why is my favourite question to ask, so much so that some have labeled me a child because of it 😂❤️

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Haha you know what I explained my mum this newsletter and she started no we shouldn’t ask whys? And I laughed and said well I am gonna do that for forever now :)

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Kirstie McKinnon's avatar

This honest writing is a kind of balm to another recovering people pleaser! Thank you. I also like how you write about work, and the way workplaces can bring us new ideas.

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Aww Kirstie, thank you for your comment and sending you hugs and love 💚

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Neha Dhami's avatar

Absolutely 💯

It's all about intentions. People often avoid asking "Why?" because they're afraid of delving deeper, but understanding the reasons behind things is incredibly important, even if it feels heavy.

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Completely agree, I can't think of doing life any other way now :). Thank you for your comment and subscribing :)

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Mika's avatar

What a beautiful piece Harneek.

I feel like we are on a similar journey to untangle ourselves from the “shoulds”. I hope we can cheer each other on.

Also: “We unknowingly trigger things in people when we are living our truths.” - this hit hard as a recovering people pleaser.

If we are going to make other people unhappy, we might as well make sure that we are not one of them.

Thank you so much for sharing my piece of writing. 🙏

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Hey Mika, thank you reading my posts and subscribing. I am grateful to universe for finding you and such a supporting community on substack. Sounds like a good plan, let's cheer each other up to break through all the "shoulds" passed to us as women. Sending you all the love and healing energy!

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Ava.May's avatar

Awesome post Harneek! I love the emphasis places on intention, and I find when we do so, we can extend ourselves to be more empathetic towards others too 💛 Thank you sm for the mention too 💛

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

I completely agree with you Ava. When we have our "whys" or "intentions" game strong, we become better in offering all the good stuff like kindness, empathy etc to the world. Thanks for engaging :)

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Anmol Singh's avatar

Well written 🙏🙏

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Thank you for your comment Anmol, means the world to me :)

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Shanjitha's avatar

I’m a recovering people pleaser and an elder daughter too. Every word you wrote just hit me hard. I’m trying to ask why and the number of whys I ask everyday regarding my past present and future is countless. Sometime I get clear answers, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I get lost too. Reading your story felt like a soothing voice telling that I’m not alone here. Thanks Harneek.

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Ohh Shanjitha, sending you all the love and healing energy. I hope you find the answers to all your “whys”. Thank you for subscribing 💚

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Yashraj Singh Giri's avatar

This was very interesting to read Harneek! Loved how you structured the essay, with personal stories juxtaposed with reflections. You made me think a lot about my "whys" :)

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Thanks Yashraj for your kind words. Try to be as gentle as possible with yourself when you are discovering your "whys" :)

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Raveen's avatar

'...sometimes intentions are above actions in our lives.'

I'd say that in general, our intentions are definitely more important than our actions.

This is because it ultimately depends on our intentions on whether or not our actions bring about more good than and harm.

Also, it's our intentions that give our actions actual meaning and weight.

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Completely agree Raveen :)

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Mo Issa's avatar

Well said, Harneek! This is a powerful note to take a step back and ask ourselves why we're doing what we're doing. Living with intention might be uncomfortable at first, but it can definitely lead to a more fulfilling life.

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

This reminds us to be a skilled discerner❤️

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Absolutely, practicing my discernment muscle to make it stronger :)

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Mohika Mudgal's avatar

When you said you're a recovering people please and an elder daughter, I said ME TOO out loud! By the way, that's a really cool coincidence. I feel connected to the way you write so honestly about your thoughts and reflections 💓🧿 Thank you so much for recommending my essay, Who Are You When The Toast Burns! I feel blessed to share this platform with you ✨ more than that, I'm curious: do you have a younger brother or sister?

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Harneek Chawla's avatar

Thanks Mohika for your kind words, I have a younger brother who is quite chill than I am. What about you?

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Mohika Mudgal's avatar

I got a lil sister! We’re 3 years apart! I look to her many times for life advice <3

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Shanjitha's avatar

Thanks Harneek.

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