The In-Betweens
A poem on unfinished drafts, return of my shame and staying true to the Gods of my Writing
Four unfinished drafts this week,
What to write, what not to,
What to disclose, what not to,
Like I am on a mission to hide something from myself and my writing,
Like what I wanna say is buried under my shame and guilt,
Where is this shame coming from?
I thought it’s all done and dusted.
May be, I am not ready to write about few things,
And that’s perfectly alright.
In the midst of everything,
My fears are rising,
My affirmations are not working,
Can I borrow some hope (if you have it extra) to keep living?
Why I am so indecisive and shy these days?
May be, it’s my shame stopping me to be the confident me,
The confidence in my writing is directly proportional to the confidence I carry in the world,
May be, something is still boiling up in my consciousness,
May be, it’s the in-betweens,
And they say, you need to embrace the in-betweens,
So, I will keep on trying,
Tapping and digging into my consciousness,
And keep on writing about whatever I found.
For a change, can you make up a story?
I tried but it feels like a betrayal,
Betrayal to the Gods of my Writing.
Someone once asked me, why do I write sad stuff,
My life is beautiful and green,
I don’t remember what I answered them,
But I think, the answer is it was my truth in the moments I was writing.
I have been reading, the Book of Woman by Osho,
Can you keep on reading a book when you don’t agree to everything it says?
Now, may be, you all want to know,
What do I agree and disagree to?
That’s a story for some other time please.
Harneek!!
This week’s recommendations:
- . A beautiful written story on practicing trust in different areas of our lives
- . A vulnerable and courageous piece by Andrea on our deep desire of being wanted by someone
- . A story which might make you feel seen as a Woman and the pros/cons of Situationships
Love the insights here. I have been wanting to write made up stories but it seems the subconscious stories want to be known and that is often the sad stuff.
"Where is this shame coming from?"
Sometimes I wonder, where does shame come from; the things we don't like about ourselves, why do we assume that others won't like them too?
Maybe we are just too careful, maybe we're too introspective. Maybe we just overthink and overevaluate everything.