New Year, New Promises

Year of bidding adieu to abandon myself

Happy New Year to you all. I wish you all year full of joy, love and abundance. I spent my New Year’s Eve just the way I wanted. Sitting at my friend’s place and writing. We both are fond of stationary. She had some beautiful papers, and we wrote, reflected and discussed about the passing year. I was not feeling great that day. My mind was constantly reminding me of all the things that didn’t go well in my life. Thank God, I went to her place, and we reflected back together. One of the things we reflected upon was “What did we do in this passing year for the very first time in our lives?” Our list was amazing. We both did some pretty cool things for the very first time in the year 2023. I added more things to my list the next day. I was so proud of myself with my list and was pondering how our mind remembers the things that didn’t work out so naturally and how I have to make an effort to count all the things what went well in my life in the passing year. I am happy to make an effort for myself and promise myself to make all efforts in the new year to make my mental health better.

Good Mental Health is something I have constantly craved for in the year 2023. I did a lot of amazing and cool things with struggling mentally. Life felt so hard at few moments of my life that I decided to take some time off from my work. At one day, I was talking to my manager about my promotion and next week I accepted within me that I am struggling mentally. It took a hell lot of courage to went to my manager and speak about my mental health. It was kind of shock for a lot of my colleagues as I was performing pretty well at my work. We were building an amazing team for one of the best projects of the country. It was hard for me to leave my work, my team at that time. I questioned my decision almost every single day for a while.

I still don’t know what I did was right or wrong. I just know what I was feeling at some moments was so hard and unbearable that I couldn’t think of anything else. I, sometimes wonder that life would have been easy if we could measure or calculate mental health as we can do with our physical health. May be, it is not about right or wrong. The right thing is you listened to yourself. You gave yourself what you needed in that moment. You acted from the place of your feelings and needs matter. While doing so you may have disappointed some people. I am still learning to be ok with disappointing others. You will always have doubts, fears or a critical inner voice whenever you are making a decision that involves change. Also, while making such decisions, always keep in mind what is meant for you, whether it’s a job, position, people or anything, you will always find them on the other side of your decision. The things you lose while staying true to yourself are anyways not meant to stay in your life.

I don’t have any big resolutions for 2024 except I promise myself to continue my journey of learning to stay true to myself and not abandoning myself in all times. I wish you all achieve everything you desire from this life in the coming year. Happy New Year again.

Lots of love and healing,

Harneek!!