Me, (Not) The Explorer
My reflections on visiting a new city
It’s been almost three weeks since I have posted anything on Substack. To be honest it feels longer than that. The reason I couldn’t post anything is back-to-back things have been happening, I had big emotions to process towards the things happening and some decisions to make.
I am still processing the emotions and there are some things seeking my attention which I have to deal with. Just like life. But I have some mental capacity now. Writing never stops calling me wherever I am or whatever I am doing. At moments, it felt like my diary, my pen and my books calling me and me ignoring them, sticking to my phone to numb the emotions I have been feeling and trying to gain few moments of temporary relief from life.
Recently, I got a chance to travel to a new city because of my work. I extended my stay for the weekend and explored the city by myself. That week was the most stressful week I have had in few months I would say. The travel anxiety, the overwhelming feeling of going to a new workplace where I just knew few people, the uncertainty of a new city, the deadlines to meet, 5-6 hours of sleep and a bag of emotions I was processing from the earlier week. In some moments, I felt like quitting everything and shut off the world.
But I kept going. The things which kept me going were the moments of connections with strangers, the joy of meeting some people I have been talking in work meetings but never met, beautiful giant old buildings, the vintage shops, the art studio and the bookshops I visited and the newness of the whole experience.
In all the newness, in those moments, I forgot the old me and became completely new. It felt like an escape from my own life. The escape from problems I wanna solve and the decisions I have to make. It truly felt like a blank canvas. I can do anything and be anything in this city.
After coming back, I am still settling back in my daily routine and returning to all important things in my life. I could feel the shift in my energy from who I was there and who I am here. I loved my energy more there. The energy of exploring something new and be ok with the feeling of disappointment it can bring. I don’t usually have the intention to explore the city I live although there are parts of this city, I haven’t explored. I don’t talk to strangers with that curiosity the way I did there. I am usually not ok with the uncertainty of not have things planned beforehand which I was almost comfortable there.
This year when my brother visited me, he found amazing things around my neighborhood which I never saw. He found some really cool stuff in the supermarket in the aisles which I never enter. When my parents were here, they found a beautiful track for walking and one day when I went walking with them, I met the adorable cat who loves me, and I love her. I still go to meet her every now and then. Now I can wonder, why I didn’t find all of this by my own, but it’s just about the energy of exploring new city, new country, new roads and new food which I kind of lacked here and they had.
So, it comes down to my energy. I completely agree with the fact that a new place, a new city, a new country or just meeting and having conversations with new people have the tendency to trigger a new energy in you. But that energy is still in you. It’s your own energy which attract the experiences you are having in your life. Once you have tasted and felt it, maybe you can try to become that in your current circumstances, if you can’t change or travel immediately.
We can try to take life as a blank canvas in itself. Each day is actually an opportunity to become who we wanna become and do whatever we wanna do. We might try to have an outlook of curiosity to our routine tasks and look for newness in our not so new life. If we try to adopt that energy, there are high chances we will gonna attract new experiences we all are seeking in life. I hope you all are doing well. It feels wonderful to be back on my reflective posts on Substack.
Lots of love and healing,
Harneek!!
This week’s recommendations:
10 things learned in 10 year marriage & 10 things to cook by
. The beautiful journey of creating your unique version of partnership you want
This Text Finds You At The Right Time by
. The beautiful, motivating, healing and soothing words by Viam, making you feel less alone in your journeyfor mothers, fathers, and the time we lost by
. The internal journey of our emotions while leaving our parent’s home described well by Harshal
Harneek, this is sooo relatable! 💖 I love how you talk about how new places make us feel like we’re reborn, like a whole new energy. It’s so true—we forget that spark in our own routine. And yes to the blank canvas approach! I’m def going to try looking at my day like that and see where it takes me! Your post is giving me all the feels, thank you for sharing your heart 🥰
I love this, Harneek. My relationship with Substack is quite unpredictable - I often don't feel like putting anything out, because of the certain performance of it. But I also know that that's the only way to engage and find other writers whose words speak to me - like yours! Lots of love💕