Learning the art of taking space

My story on how I landed on Substack

Last week has felt surreal to me with the amount of love and support I have received on Substack. I crossed my first 50 subscribers last weekend and now I am read by people in 15 countries. When it all happened, I couldn’t believe it happened. I was quite numb, not very happy and not very sad. That’s not usual me when something important happens. When things happen, I am usually very happy or very sad. I shared the screenshot in my family group. Put it on the Substack notes and still nothing changed. I have been waiting for it from the time it was in the thirties. It took me few days to let that sink in and feel. It hit me midweek when I was doing dishes after my dinner. A good cry with tears of gratitude and happiness followed by.

With my heart and soul, I wanna welcome and say thank you to all my new subscribers and my supportive old subscribers. Thank you for trusting me and my writing. For me your subscription, following and engagement means a lot. Thank you for giving me space in your hearts and inboxes. Thank you for trusting me with your email ids.

Photo by Vlad Kutepov on Unsplash

There was always a nudge towards writing in my soul and I have lived many years of my life denying it as I was busy in making other things work. There was no chance I could do writing in the life I was living. The universe had other plans. Everything I was trying to make work fell apart and I was completely shattered. Now this time the nudge was not gentle. I had overflow of all kinds of emotions and to process and release those emotions I have to write. I wrote poems on every emotion I was feeling. For me, writing became a way to honor my emotions, feelings, sensitivities and experiences.

I got to know about Substack from

Lisa Olivera

’s Instagram stories. I subscribed to her Substack immediately and enjoyed reading her for months. Lisa’s newsletter always has felt like a long hug from an old friend to my soul. One day, I collected all the courage inside me and clicked on “Start writing” button at the end of one of her newsletters. I downloaded the app on my phone and created my Substack account. My first few subscribers were myself from a different email id, my brother, my mum and my dad. I am fortunate for having a very supportive family. I joke with one of my friends that if I tell my family today that I wanna become astronaut, my family will not only support me, but they will truly believe that I can be an astronaut.

The thought of creating a publication on Substack was scary to me. May be, something to do with the word “publication”. Also, being a woman who has always struggled to take up space in the world, taking space in people’s inboxes was quite overwhelming. I made all the voices in my head to agree on writing notes on Substack.

How would I know to take up any space as I have always seen women in my lineage adjusting herself and her needs to fit in whatever is remaining?

How would I know to take up any space as I have always seen women in my lineage hiding her pains and aches?

How would I know to take up any space as I have always seen women in my lineage shrinking herself to belong?

With all the fears and doubts in my heart, I posted my first note on substack almost a year ago.

For almost six months, I kept posting notes on Substack as posting notes felt safe to me. Then when I got some more courage, I created my publication on Substack. My mind had many excuses to stop me. One of them was not being able to decide on my Substack’s name. After hearing out all the voices which was asking me not to do it, I decided to go with the name “Harneek’s Substack” as of now and I will change later when I could decide on a name. That’s how I started posting weekly newsletter on Substack.

My journey of taking space in the world started with taking space in my writing. Listening, acknowledging and honoring all parts of me in my writing. My journey of taking space in the world started with listening to my body in my yoga practices. Listening and letting my body guide me through. It’s been a messy but fulfilling journey so far and I am delighted to have you all on my journey.

Lots of love and healing,

Harneek!!

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This week’s recommendations:

• The Antidote To Convention by

  Niall McGivern
  . A beautiful one reminding you to turn inwards to find the truths

• Let Us Mourn by

  Paul Wittenberger
  . If you are into poetry, you would love Paul’s poems

• Loser. by

  Nadia Meli
  . Nadia’s honest writing will inspire you to write straight from your heart