Finding Rhythm and Trusting Yourself
The joy of doing things for your inner child
I have been doing a decent job for almost more than a decade. I got my first job in the last year of college and I moved out of my parents house. This was not a norm for the women in my family at that time. Sometimes I wonder who asked me to do a job from that age. I could have stayed with my parents for longer and enjoy the rent-free days. I have done a lot of things in my life which the society would appreciate or can give you a certificate for. But I don’t remember my sole reason to make certain choices in life has been to impress anyone. Your choices in life could be combination of many things like reflection of yourself, the people you are surrounded or influenced by, the digital content you are watching, the places you are visiting, the books you are reading etc. Also, being a child when these factors are not in your control completely or being an adult who is still knowing themselves, you can mess up. And that’s completely alright. We all can look back in our lives and wonder why we made certain choices. But you have to make peace with your past with the understanding that you did the best you could with the awareness you had about yourself, the world and the resources you had.
In the recent years because of some major shifts in my life, there was so much emotions overflowing that I started writing poems on my Instagram account to get those emotions out and feel a bit lighter. My writing gave me a space to validate and honor everything I was feeling. I have been a reader on Substack for few years and few months back, I started writing weekly on my Substack account too.
To be honest, my writing felt like doing something for myself in a long time or may be first time in life. Something I am doing not to prove anything to anyone, something I am doing for the little girl inside me, something I am doing to soothe my emotional wounds and something my soul has been nudging me towards. It is one of the most beautiful feelings I have felt and I am so enjoying it at the moment. My writing has been my way of traveling into my subconscious and explore it. I get to know myself and my subconscious a little better every time I write. It helps me in the process of unlearning the beliefs that doesn’t serve me and learning the beliefs which will help me to become who I want to be.
Every time I write on Substack, I have doubts like do I know all the rules of Substack or may be, I need to learn more about Substack. Writing this just made me realize, how much I wanna know and understand the rules of any new game I play, in general. Although I am just following one single rule here which is the more you read, the better you can write. I am still finding rhythm between reading my favorite substack writers, writing weekly on substack and learning ways to improve my writing. And I would say, I am deeply enjoying it.
Lots of love and healing,
Harneek!