Empathy with Boundaries

You can feel different than others

World has been on a journey to become normal after covid. The fears which people developed during covid period are going away slowly. But there are a lot of other things happening around which can have psychological impact on how we feel about life in general. Recently, I have been noticing change in how I am feeling after talking or spending time with different people. As an empath, when I hear people telling me something they are struggling with and life has not been nice to them in some ways, I feel for them.

Feeling for them is one thing and actually becoming what they are feeling is other. If you become what they are feeling, there are two things which has happened. Firstly, you have lost your power to them, and how you are feeling is controlled by their emotions. Secondly, you will not be able to help or advise them if they are seeking help. People sometimes are just seeking validation to their feelings. You can validate their feelings without actually becoming it. For example, if somebody is complaining about how expensive a cup of coffee is all the time, you can validate their feelings without actually feeling the same for a cup of coffee. If somebody is overwhelmed and anxious about the fact that the country is in recession and people are losing their jobs, you can validate the fact and their feelings, without actually feeling overwhelmed about it.

Photo by Yura Batiushyn on Unsplash

Sometimes people get triggered with the fact that you are not feeling the same as they are towards a certain situation or even a person and they try to make you feel the same by quoting stories and examples. In those situations, you have to trust your gut feeling and act how things have been with you personally. Everybody’s story is different, and you don’t have to buy their story if that is different than what you are feeling.

It’s good to watch out the reason or source of your feelings. Here I am not saying that don’t meet or talk to your friend or loved one who is going through something in life, I am saying that your priority is to protect yourself emotionally. If you are feeling good and have emotional capacity to listen to someone without actually becoming what they are feeling, go for it. If you have doubts about it, scan yourself, identify and acknowledge your feelings and take steps to make yourself feel better first, before trying to help anyone.

Also, I am not at all denying the cost of living going up and the fact that lot of people are losing their jobs, and it scares me too on some days. But at the end those things are not completely in my control. I wanna believe whatever happens, I will be alright. I will be able to handle whatever comes my way. I also believe sometimes complaining too much doesn’t help and can drain your energy. Focus on the things which are in your control and leave the rest. I hope you all are doing well. Thanks for being here.

Lots of love and healing,

Harneek!!

---

This week’s recommendations:

• The Curse of The Ego by

  Harun Kewa
  . Enlightening post on how ego can ruin beautiful moments and how that can be managed

• Gardening as a blind person by

  Leanne Hunt
  . Heart touching post by Leanne on shifting perspectives when things in life changes

• "GIRLS" shared by

  love & liberation daily
  and written by
  Anagha Smrithi
  . I read this post when I was in my office during lunch. I couldn’t eat my lunch while reading this. This post gave me chills throughout. Very vulnerable but beautiful post