December Introspections
Some thoughts to acknowledge my journey and the progress I have made
It’s getting easier to sit and spend time with my demons now. I don’t try to run away immediately when I feel they have arrived. Now our relationship is when they arrive on the days, I have energy, I make a trip to gym and lift weights to show them how powerful I am. I feel like they don’t care about my gym trips, but I still do it.
On the days when I don’t have energy, and my demons make an entry. I make them ginger tea and offer them lotus seeds mixed with some walnuts. They complain about how I can eat the same thing every day and I say, yes that’s my superpower.
I feel alright now when people who have met me before act like they are meeting me for the first time. I don’t try to change the vibe of the conversation; I just keep it short.
When you understand and start practicing the art of choosing people, things or places for yourself, you start to forgive the people who didn’t choose you in the past or are doing that in the present. Some people will always prefer gold over diamonds, and some will always prefer diamonds over gold. Know who you are and stick to it.
Everyone has their internal battles to fight and demons to handle. In the era of social media where everyone is trying hard to prove their life is worth living, you just exit the race. Send them the pictures of the moon, the sun, the stars, the trees, the flowers, and the avocadoes, blueberries, strawberries you are eating, when they are curious to know about your life. Let them decide the quality of your life.
When you meet a man who feels uncomfortable when you express your feelings, don’t think anything, just run away. Run to a tree and may be, cry under it if you want. A tree sometimes can do a better job than an emotionally unavailable man when it comes to handling your feelings with care.
It’s really hard to not seek any external validation in the world we are living. Recently, one thing I was hopeful to accomplish as an external validation, didn’t work out. I cried a little, acknowledged everything I was feeling and called few people to vent out. I felt disappointed with the world I am living. Every disappointment from the external world is an opportunity for me to turn inwards, reassess my world and keep nurturing my inner beautiful garden.
On the days when you are needy and can get snappy, let it be. The people who are supposed to leave anyway, might leave. Some will stay to offer you what you need and continue to build this life with you. Try to understand the source of your behavior, as there lies the cure too. Remember to apologize if you have hurt someone along the way of your neediness and snappiness.
You can’t be in the energy of gratitude all the time. Obviously, we all have been through some things in our life which has felt traumatizing, hurting and unfair in some ways. The emotions from those things sometimes can be part of our lives for long time depending on the experiences. So, it’s ok if we don’t have gratitude in your heart for some days. I know, I will return to it after I have acknowledged and honored my pain.
Are you in the main character energy of your life? To reach to the honest answer to this question, close your eyes and imagine your life as a movie. You are a character of this movie. Now what feelings do you have for this character? Do you really really want them to win in life? Do you really want them to achieve their tiniest to wildest dreams? Are you interested to see how their story unfolds? Are you interested to see what they create out of this thing called life?
Living alone will actually teach you a lot about yourself and who you are without the influence of anyone. It will also teach you the importance of community around you. Because there will be days or moments when you will struggle to be your own anchor. Hence it will teach you how to live well in harmony with your people and community.
It’s a pleasure and privilege to be on this journey of becoming the woman I wanna be. Every day is a chance to know her better and practice to be her. She is the woman of my dreams and we both are already in love with each other.
This week’s recommendations:
- . A beautiful poem by Johanna on the power of being around nature in our hard moments
moon milk and honey thighs: by
. I have been lately enjoying Chris’s writing and poetry. You don’t wanna miss this one for sure.When We’ve Experienced Attachment Trauma, We Don’t Know How To Receive by
. You would enjoy reading this as it will give you hope if you struggle to ask for help and receive good things in life
Wonderful reflections that encourage us all. I don't know if I've made as much progress in the things I wanted to have made progress, perhaps I can get a clearer picture if I, too, do a close examination. I will before the year ends. Thank you for this essay, Harneek.
Totally in love with this!!🥹 your words are healing!🫂