Courage to be Myself
On avoiding self-betrayal
In a world which constantly reminds us how we are not good enough and our bodies are not as they should be, I think it’s brave enough to try to be your authentic and confident self wherever we go. We have lived so many years of our life with the belief that we are not enough, or something is wrong with us, our brain just knows that path. To live a different and more intentional way where we like ourselves and doesn’t feel the need to be someone else, it needs work and practice.
Recently, I have been observing myself in few of the discussions, some personal and some professional. I noticed my tendency of losing myself unintentionally in some of those discussions. I am not sure who I tend to become in those discussions. May be, who I should be (as per me), who they think I should be (as per me) or who they think I am (as per me). These moments feel like subtle act of self-betrayal, and I usually end up feeling drained by those discussions.
I wonder, when and how did my subconscious got this message that it’s not enough to be myself? May be, that’s how my brain adopted a coping mechanism of trying to be someone else. But now a days I feel the calming and daring urge to be myself. Be who I am, take as much space as I need, speak my truth and value my feelings. It sounds easy but it’s not. I feel overwhelmed, scared or even anxious in some moments and I need to gently ask myself what or whom do I fear. It’s like my brain just knows self-betrayal till now. Teaching my brain to be true to myself every day is a practice I am on, and it feels hard, but it is self-rewarding.
Below are few things I try to practice on daily basis to avoid self-betrayal:
I acknowledge and accept what I am feeling even though that’s different from others
I speak my truth with grace without worrying about how the other person will receive it
If I am feeling some hard emotions, I accept that and take steps to make myself feel better, instead of judging myself
I speak lovingly and gently to myself always, even on the days when I messed up
I cater to my needs without labelling them too much
I indulge in activities which makes my inner child happy
I reflect on my values regularly and ask myself how I can be that today
The outcome of being you might cost you some relationships in your life and it can be painful too. But you can’t be true to others if you can’t be true to yourself. It’s up to you how you wanna do this life and I think you can do it best, being you. It’s been a bumpy ride, but I am glad that I started this journey of knowing myself and practicing being myself little by little every day. I hope you are all doing well. I wish you all courage and wisdom to be yourself. Thank you for being here.
Lots of love and healing,
Harneek!